Is this an "aha!" or a "duh"?

Had an idea: I have now put the names of all of the main dishes I typically cook on one sheet of paper (Excel spreadsheet, organized in columns by chicken, pork, beef, and veggie dishes, with extra spaces for new or forgotten dishes). I'm going to put it in a page protector and hang it up inside my cupboard. I have so many cookbooks that it's so helpful to know what dishes I can choose from. Hope that helps someone else who likes variety in their cooking!

Why I'm glad I they're smushed together

Someone told me this week that they could in no way do what I was doing, having three kids three and under.

This isn't the first time I've heard this. But it was good for me to reflect again on why I love my exhausted life and am grateful for God's sovereignty in it. Plus, God gives us our daily bread, gives us what we need exactly when we need it, and Scripture's full of great examples; manna is one of my favorites. But I thought, for my own benefit and your interest (if you are in fact interested), I'd compile a list:

Ten Reasons I'm SO Glad I Have Three Kids Close Together
1. They learn patience. There's no way I can meet all of their needs when they want them met.
2. They learn nurture at a very young age. It's so neat to see the big brothers learn to interact with Corinne.
3. They learn to help. They're both learning self-sacrifice in ways I couldn't otherwise teach.
4. They're best friends. Last year when I asked Baden who he wanted to invite to his birthday party, he thought a minute, then asked, "Can Will come?" And Corinne giggles and kicks with anticipation when they come near. At night I have to choose between telling them to PLEASE SLEEP or letting them belly laugh with each other.
5. I learn to die to self. Each kid teaches me more of that, and I can think of few more beneficial lessons for me to learn! "It's not about you" is something I seem to always need to hear. It brings my tendency to be a martyr to the surface and reintroduces me to the truly beautiful discipline of joy.
6. They avoid some self-centeredness. They hopefully won't remember a time when their world was all about them.
7. I teach all of them at once! They're all in similar stages together. They're often interested in the same things. And they teach each other.
8. It teaches me more faith in God's sovereignty and wisdom. I have to trust every day that He'll give me what I need for this crazy bunch. This was His idea, and it was a good one--which brings me to #9:
9. I can't imagine not having a Baden or a Will or a Corinne in the world--these fabulous little creatures that bear God's image. Aside from God's sovereignty, imagine that their life, their incredible personalities, wouldn't be! Scripture repeatedly reminds me of the blessing of children; makes me think twice considering that in our country we usually determine how many children we can afford, and consider children inconvenient.
10. It is certainly humbling for me. I always seem to have at least one thing (usually my house) out of my control (!), and often have to depend on other people's kindness rather than my own ability to manage my life. (Sheesh.) It's worth it. :) As I am fond of saying, I have my hands full in the best way possible.

Thanks, Lord.

Latest little familia update, #3

Well, notta lotta, but if you want to hear the latest:

Corinne: Still only creeping backwards, but full of so much personality. Definitely knows what she wants--and when she wants it (i.e. now), but has a great laugh and is innately curious. Does this great little thing with her head, laying it on your shoulder when she wakes up (always happy to see you!) or meets someone new. Getting wisps of very curly hair. Talks with her feet, kicking with excitement or interest. Loves the outdoors and her johnny jump-up.

Will: Talking up a storm; great belly laugh. He and Baden are best friends. Very nearly potty trained (YAHOO). Sick with a high fever this week :(. Love to hear him talk; I'm always amazed by what he comprehends. Likes to sing with me; he fills in words I leave out.

Baden: Starting to sound out words that end in "at" with his magnets, but I have to approach it casually, because as always, if it's not his idea, it's not a good one. Really showing a lot of compassion and desire to help lately: "I'll pick that up because you're making dinner"! Loves to teach something. Asks great questions. Growing up so fast--to school in a year and a half--that I feel like my life is passing before my eyes. Such precious times.

John and me: Our lives seem to leave us tired, but I genuinely believe we're expending ourselves in ways God wants us to, leaving us fulfilled. I'm experiencing more satisfaction at work, feeling like my contributions are valuable with the change of our Publisher (big boss). I struggle with the day-to-day endurance of being a mom and sensing my lack of holiness in it: so much to learn. Our home is racking up its share of needed repairs, which contributes to John's stress, but God continues to provide for us and generously give us His favor in a number of ways.

still giving me food for thought: my favorite C.S. Lewis quote

"If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied, Love. You see what has happend? A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarilly of securing for good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we might follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.

"If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

[from The Weight of Glory, p. 113]

thinking about: heaven (and the ugliness of me)

I think about heaven a lot. As in daily; sometimes even hour by hour. It's safe to say that it's a life motivator for me. Please believe me, I don't say that pridefully--I think it's a wise investment of anyone's time! After all, it lasts a whole lot longer than this short span I'm in, than this "light momentary affliction," which "is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal" (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

Plus, I continue to digest this whole concept of an upside-down kingdom: that the first are last, the last are first, the greatest is your servant; this place where we must be like a child to come in, an entity so valuable that it's like a pearl worth selling everything else for. That baffles me, woos me, and requires me to subvert everything I'm surrounded with: Beauty is vain. Fame is nothing. Power requires that I serve. Money is for saving up treasures there. Amazing.

And if I make the ultimate sacrifice here of death--if my family is called to stand in front of our little green trilevel and choose to deny Christ or die--I can tell my children to hold their breath and we'll see each other in Paradise in a few minutes. Huh.

But I realize that for me right now, the line is thin between building up treasures and crowns for God, or to do that for me. John Piper talks extensively about rewards and how God motivates with them. I agree with this. God repeatedly gives us promises, calling us with love toward the right.

But, as I heard so poignantly in a sermon a decade ago, "Heaven is not about the glory of Christians." I find myself sometimes working for heavenly rewards for my own glory, vacillating between the satisfaction of doing the right thing, and pride in the wonderfulness of me! (--aka idolatry. Is there any place in me that sin hasn't infected?! For the love of Mike.) Somehow I want to be motivated by rewards, but realize that how I'm getting those rewards is God's grace. That's why people are casting crowns in heaven.

Maybe it's like a mom helping her child tie his shoe: The mom essentially holds his hands and verbally guides him, but gives him a huge "Good job!" for his perseverance and allowing her to help him learn something.

Obviously I'm still muddling through this. What do you think?

Latest little family news, week 2

John actually preached at a local congregation this week, pinch-hitting for an out-of-town pastor. I really thought he did a wonderful job (thank you, God!). He is a gifted speaker and teacher (and may make me remove that once he has read it).

Will is calling Baden "young man", though on the other hand, Baden is calling Will "Buddy", as in, "We already ate lunch, Buddy." It's really funny to hear how I sound through their voices (most of the time). Corinne is giggling when the dog licks her face.

The Black Death (aka YUCK stomach flu) passed through our home this week, missing Will and Corinne by a great deal of prayer.

Help me out, Week 1

Okay, here's where I want to take advantage of the blog thing: An open-forum question of the week. This week I want to know--

What do you appreciate about the way your parents raised you?

Gracias for all feedback.